This is the third part now. In my previous stories, I talked about nudity in a very private setting: at home, first inside, then outside in the garden.
And there we are. The shame about nudity gone, the self-image improved a bit, same for the self-confidence. But again, the routine of it becomes limiting too.
Your partner knows you do this, but doesn’t want to be confronted with this. In his or her mind, from his or her upbringing, this is wrong. You shouldn’t be doing this. What if the neighbours see you like this? What will they think of you? What will they think of me? What will they think of us? We’re a decent family, we don’t do things like that.
This spoils the good feeling you had earlier, and you agree to only be nude when he or she is away from home. At least it’s not behind the back, but it feels bitter that even your partner doesn’t want you to enjoy your nudity, your freedom.
After a while, you get used to this, it becomes the new normal to be nude in and around the house, and the excitement goes away. You still enjoy this wonderful freedom though, you can’t live without it anymore. Having to wear clothes feels very restraining now.
Isn’t there any way to expand this freedom, this joy?
An unexpected invitation
One day, when you are very down and emotional about traumas from the past, and she gets very desperate about getting you happier again. And out of the blue, she suggests to go to a nudist beach together… wouldn’t that lift you up?
It is unbelievable at first. She was so adamant, so clear about this, no way that she would ever go naked in public. Your first thought is that she might keep her swimsuit on while you go naked. That would make sense.
But that’s not what happened. She was the first to get naked on that beach. And that one single gesture changed everything.
But how? Why?
The first thing you experience is a strong feeling of acceptance. Acceptance of yourself by yourself. But also silent acceptance from the other people there.
The second thing is the love that you feel. This gesture is so huge that it fills you with the feeling of being loved. If this person is willing to step that far out of her comfort zone for you, that can only mean that you’re worth it.
When we arrived at this beach, something I had waited for my whole life, I was unsure about how I would feel undressing in front of so many people. I think I was projecting feelings about undressing in front of a non-nudist public. But the fact was that nobody even noticed me when I undressed. In that environment, it was the most natural thing to do.
I can write about how I experienced all of this as much as I want, but I can not speak for others. I am convinced that most of the feelings that I’m trying to convey here will match with what a lot of nudists feel. My motivations are what they are, others will have different ones I’m sure.
Finding normalcy in nakedness
I think that non-nudists imagine the situation where they would face judgement and rejection if they were to go naked in public. Why? Because that’s the sort of reaction one would hear from non-nudists when the subject is nudism or naturism. And that gets in their heads. They won’t go naked not because they don’t like being naked, but because of what others might think about their lifestyle—about their body.
It’s not like we’re going out naked in the streets or to do our groceries. Because that’s when you would get strong reactions like this.
We go naked in places where other like-minded people go naked too.
Even I was expecting some sort of reaction or response from the other people there. But there was none, nothing. Nobody blinked an eye. Was that disappointing? No! It was so reassuring. What we were doing appeared to be normal—and exactly that was what I had been looking for my whole life.
When we went for our first swim, we had a slight hesitation to go deeper into the cold water. A naked woman, a complete stranger, was just exiting the water, and cheered us on. We chatted with another woman next to us on the beach, we helped a man put sunscreen on his back and we were all naked. And nobody cared about that, we were part of the crowd—part of some sort of community. That community had been there for a long time, we just didn’t realize it.
Freedom from judgment
Right there, it all came together. My life made sense. I wasn’t abnormal. I wasn’t a perverted person. I was loved enough for her to take this huge step. I wasn’t ugly or even unsightly. We saw people, men, women, even children, of all sizes and shapes, not caring about possible imperfections, but just enjoying being there, free from judgement, free of clothes. Clothes serve to hide things. In today’s society, the pressure is real to try and outshine others when it comes to clothes, makeup and lifestyle in general. All of that pressure evaporates when people don’t bother with all of this.
In the clothed world, your body is judged too. Your height, your weight, the size of your breasts, you name it, there are norms and measures.
In the nudist world, your body is free of this judgement. Your body can’t comply with fashion trends, because there aren’t any. And that is what’s so liberating. Nobody will look at you and evaluate your fashion choice and how expensive that might be. When you’re naked, you can only be judged by your personality. You could be judged by the shape of your body, you might think, but that is, “the textile way of thinking”. In the textile world, your body shape will determine what is best to wear or not wear; horizontal versus vertical stripes, long, short skirts or blouses. Take off the clothes and you are free of that “choice overload”. Your body goes well with your body, and with your person.
As I stood there, and took off my dress, I looked around me, and felt peace at last. I was there, nothing more, nothing less, and it felt right. I didn’t have to be afraid anymore that anyone could see me. Everyone could see me. And to my surprise, I didn’t care at all, or at least not in a negative way. I cared that it was possible, I cared that I allowed everyone to see me naked. I felt proud. I felt free. I hadn’t been so relaxed in years.
We went swimming naked for the first time in our lives, and I can confirm that there’s nothing like feeling the water stream over your skin, a sensation that is completely absent when you wear a swimsuit.
After our swim, we took a long walk along the waterline, and I was amazed by the realization that we were walking naked in front of a huge crowd and that it didn’t bother us at all. On the contrary, we walked proud. We even crossed clothed people, and there was nothing awkward about that at all. Again, on the contrary, it super-normalized our nudity in public. This was the ultimate in public nudity, so far—mingling with clothed people, not being sheltered in a secluded environment anymore, but out in the open.
The healing power of acceptance
We didn’t miss wearing clothes on that day, by no means. It rather felt so sad having to put on clothes again, taking away our freedom.
I’ve spent my whole life hiding things. Out of shame, uncertainty, all projected upon me by my environment, my upbringing, society. Even though she knew, I also had to hide from my own wife, because she didn’t want to be confronted with this. Again, that did project shame and a feeling of wrongdoing upon me. I felt like I was enforcing something wrong, perverted, shameful, upon her. It seriously hurt my self-image, the fact that I wasn’t just like anyone else but instead had desires that couldn’t be known to the outside world.
I felt like she deserved better than this, this wasn’t what she wanted, what she signed up for. She could have had a “normal” partner. I felt less than the others around me. They enjoyed the normal things in life, things that are widely accepted and normalized. I was again the odd one, the weird one, hoping for some form of acceptance. I was still at the mercy of the judgement of society. Where others have things to be proud of, like a husband, a “normal” marriage, I had to explain myself already as a lesbian woman. Hoping for acceptance, and then this.
Stepping into this world of public nudity changed everything. I didn’t have to explain, I didn’t have to justify anything. What we were doing was normal—we were part of something. I felt free as never before in my life, I could step out in a crowd, naked, hiding nothing at all, literally this time, and that was normal. No justification required, no explanation required. Unreal.
Ever since that day, when we go to sleep, we have a long cuddle, naked, until we fall asleep in each other’s arms. Everyone should try that. Nothing in the world is more relaxing and healing as this naked cuddle, skin to skin, holding the one you love, and feeling loved. It wasn’t the nudity by itself that changed me or our relationship. It was the trust and the love in and for each other, which materialized in this experience. Along with my clothes, I dropped my defenses. I wasn’t afraid of showing myself anymore, not physically nor mentally. And that was the key to healing, to a better life. 🪐
Editor’s note: This essay is part three of a three-part series by Catherina, exploring how nudists and non-nudists experience nudity differently. Part three is coming soon. You can find more of her writing on naturist life on her Substack:
What a lovely set of essays. I am very glad that you and your partner have stepped through the portal that so many aspects of our society and cultures have fostered for millennia, and realized it is a phantom mirage. Through our body is how we experience life and the world around us. Allowing our body to be fully embraced by the environment is a very different type of joy. Naturism is more of a mental release than a physical process. Good on you for taking these growing steps and writing so well about what they have meant for you. Stay well naturally.
Being naked in the garden can be more awkward than being in a public place. If you strip off on a quiet beach and someone walks by and takes exception then hopefully they will pass by on the other side and that will be the end of it. But if your neighbour doesn't like what they see over the fence you still have to carry on living next door to each other.
I thoroughly approve of naked cuddling.