Interesting article speaking many telling truths. I was dragged out of a newsreel reporting an international naturist gathering at Woburn because I said 'that looks like fun' - my mother violently disagreed. That reaction of my mother's came from her own detestation of sex. In consequence my relationship with sex was in fact shaped by my mother. It could be that I am in a minority of one, but I suspect not. Might it not be that the historical systemic abuse of women, their enforced powerlessness, has been so deeply damaging that all the laws and political initiatives since the married Women's Property Act of 1882 (UK) 6 generations ago is still only barely a cosmetic change. The only way I think the message of this article can be driven home to us men is to make a law that says 'all men must be naked in public at all times' - then see what happens...
I agree completely. Some of the things that first brought my wife and I to naturism is 1) that it de-objectifies the body. 2) Unlike media images, nudism shows average, normal bodies. 3)Neither women nor men are subject to lascivious gazes.
So yes, women have been subject to objectification and Naturism is the cure.
This author is a friend of mine and is always helping me to pull back the veil and see things as they are. I'm a woman who's been involved in naturism for almost 20 years. I occasionally invite female friends to naturist settings, and I stay close to them, crossing my fingers that they have a safe and enjoyable time. It's changed my life for the better and I like the idea that it will help them too. But it's not a Utopia; I dream that it could be eventually.
I used to work as a receptionist in a naturist park and often described the first experience to callers. I'd say that we remove the clothing, allowing us to be vulnerable together, and we meet people for who they really are. What's tricky to remove is our conditioning of the textile world. As the author describes the duty to be beautiful, I had flashbacks of moments I've served in the bistro and had men complimenting my body. It made me very uncomfortable. I'd suggest that they don't comment on people's bodies, and they were very put off that I didn't just bat my lashes and say 'thank you'.
But if I did that, I'd be giving a signal that I'm ok with the behaviour, and the flirtation could escalate, perhaps with expectations that something more could happen between us. I spend time in naturism to feel safe and seen as an individual. Most of the time that happens, and I am respected, and I've made amazing connections and have built trust with myself and others.
I have such hope for us as a people to be healed from our body shame and our misunderstanding gender roles. I'm a public naturist on Instagram who is working to educate. I've received so many outrageous comments, etc. and instead of blocking them right away, I ask questions. Why did you send me that? What are you hoping for? What are assuming about me that you would ask me that question? I don't feel like a victim when dealing with ridiculousness, I feel on top of my game. If I can start to shift some perceptions, that is a worthy cause. But that's what I've sign up for, it's not the responsibility of every woman to be bold.
I like the idea that, "if naturist websites contained the same amount of space dedicated to educating men as it does on women’s testimonials, things would shift with more speed." What if naturism became a major advocate for women's safety and comfort.
Yes, precisely! Demonstrating and advocacy for safety and comfort shows potential allies that their concerns are understood and actively addressed. In many ways, this is what women do through their testimonials, but we need the men to be part of it, not to pass the work. And the way the work gets done and shows up will be different, more varied and stronger when unified.
It's hard to know what to do. Meeting other human beings as just that, being open to them, and doing the household chores, all seem so banal. I live in a milieu that insists on the safety and comfort of women, but it's a small world. Venceremos!
Excellent article, and important for all readers. The task of growing nudism is, as you say, one of ensuring and enshrining safety within our spaces and not just evangelizing outwards. I really appreciate your thoughts and I hope they start a larger conversation that nudists (especially male nudists) can take to heart. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Timothy, for your encouragement and support.
I saw this quote the other day: "What Men Fear Most About Going to Prison Is What Women Fear Most Walking Down the Sidewalk." The truth in it really stuck with me.
It's hard to have these conversations because recognizing the truth of one thing doesn't negate the truth in another, such as men who feel empathy, anger and a desire for a form of restorative justice, but it can still result in backlash. Yet I know of no other way to convey an experience that is largely gendered that simply stating it plainly.
The problem as I see it is that men are not competent to carry a naturist/nudist message to women. We can't walk a mile in your shoes.
The aging demographic also militates against it. I grew up in an age where you told a girl she was pretty before anything else because that's what you thought she wanted to hear and you didn't know her enough to pay any other compliment. Those lessons persist and ossify in older men. They are still living by the standards of the 60s and 70s because that's what they grew up with.
I know older men who are able to adapt and change and I know men who simply cannot. One part of society has moved on, another part has shot off in hyperdrive to lala land, and the the other has been stuck in place since the 1950s.
To a certain degree the only solution is to wait for my generation to die out.
Interesting article speaking many telling truths. I was dragged out of a newsreel reporting an international naturist gathering at Woburn because I said 'that looks like fun' - my mother violently disagreed. That reaction of my mother's came from her own detestation of sex. In consequence my relationship with sex was in fact shaped by my mother. It could be that I am in a minority of one, but I suspect not. Might it not be that the historical systemic abuse of women, their enforced powerlessness, has been so deeply damaging that all the laws and political initiatives since the married Women's Property Act of 1882 (UK) 6 generations ago is still only barely a cosmetic change. The only way I think the message of this article can be driven home to us men is to make a law that says 'all men must be naked in public at all times' - then see what happens...
I agree completely. Some of the things that first brought my wife and I to naturism is 1) that it de-objectifies the body. 2) Unlike media images, nudism shows average, normal bodies. 3)Neither women nor men are subject to lascivious gazes.
So yes, women have been subject to objectification and Naturism is the cure.
This author is a friend of mine and is always helping me to pull back the veil and see things as they are. I'm a woman who's been involved in naturism for almost 20 years. I occasionally invite female friends to naturist settings, and I stay close to them, crossing my fingers that they have a safe and enjoyable time. It's changed my life for the better and I like the idea that it will help them too. But it's not a Utopia; I dream that it could be eventually.
I used to work as a receptionist in a naturist park and often described the first experience to callers. I'd say that we remove the clothing, allowing us to be vulnerable together, and we meet people for who they really are. What's tricky to remove is our conditioning of the textile world. As the author describes the duty to be beautiful, I had flashbacks of moments I've served in the bistro and had men complimenting my body. It made me very uncomfortable. I'd suggest that they don't comment on people's bodies, and they were very put off that I didn't just bat my lashes and say 'thank you'.
But if I did that, I'd be giving a signal that I'm ok with the behaviour, and the flirtation could escalate, perhaps with expectations that something more could happen between us. I spend time in naturism to feel safe and seen as an individual. Most of the time that happens, and I am respected, and I've made amazing connections and have built trust with myself and others.
I have such hope for us as a people to be healed from our body shame and our misunderstanding gender roles. I'm a public naturist on Instagram who is working to educate. I've received so many outrageous comments, etc. and instead of blocking them right away, I ask questions. Why did you send me that? What are you hoping for? What are assuming about me that you would ask me that question? I don't feel like a victim when dealing with ridiculousness, I feel on top of my game. If I can start to shift some perceptions, that is a worthy cause. But that's what I've sign up for, it's not the responsibility of every woman to be bold.
Your stories about the way you handle those questions are wonderful. Thank you for your bold voice. The world needs you!
I like the idea that, "if naturist websites contained the same amount of space dedicated to educating men as it does on women’s testimonials, things would shift with more speed." What if naturism became a major advocate for women's safety and comfort.
Yes, precisely! Demonstrating and advocacy for safety and comfort shows potential allies that their concerns are understood and actively addressed. In many ways, this is what women do through their testimonials, but we need the men to be part of it, not to pass the work. And the way the work gets done and shows up will be different, more varied and stronger when unified.
It's hard to know what to do. Meeting other human beings as just that, being open to them, and doing the household chores, all seem so banal. I live in a milieu that insists on the safety and comfort of women, but it's a small world. Venceremos!
Excellent article, and important for all readers. The task of growing nudism is, as you say, one of ensuring and enshrining safety within our spaces and not just evangelizing outwards. I really appreciate your thoughts and I hope they start a larger conversation that nudists (especially male nudists) can take to heart. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Timothy, for your encouragement and support.
I saw this quote the other day: "What Men Fear Most About Going to Prison Is What Women Fear Most Walking Down the Sidewalk." The truth in it really stuck with me.
It's hard to have these conversations because recognizing the truth of one thing doesn't negate the truth in another, such as men who feel empathy, anger and a desire for a form of restorative justice, but it can still result in backlash. Yet I know of no other way to convey an experience that is largely gendered that simply stating it plainly.
Thanks for taking the time to read and engage!
The problem as I see it is that men are not competent to carry a naturist/nudist message to women. We can't walk a mile in your shoes.
The aging demographic also militates against it. I grew up in an age where you told a girl she was pretty before anything else because that's what you thought she wanted to hear and you didn't know her enough to pay any other compliment. Those lessons persist and ossify in older men. They are still living by the standards of the 60s and 70s because that's what they grew up with.
I know older men who are able to adapt and change and I know men who simply cannot. One part of society has moved on, another part has shot off in hyperdrive to lala land, and the the other has been stuck in place since the 1950s.
To a certain degree the only solution is to wait for my generation to die out.