Thank you for acknowledging this. Yes. Culturally, this has been promoted as well as weaponized within wars, both "official" wars but also within warlike conditions. But I also wonder about creating associations with erections that are purely sexual. There's a conflict between saying that an erection can come from multiple reasons and saying that is proof of virility. The line of thinking equating it to virility is deeply embedded. For example, the word "impotent" means powerless, yet is also synonymous with erectile dysfunction.
Women have fought to have breasts desexualized for many years because of the imposition it creates. It doesn't mean breasts can't be sexual, but if someone were to say that because nipples were erect there is a sexual connection, it would be an absurd connection.
When it comes to sexually agressive behaviour, the focus on erections can become something of a red herring. We need to look at how someone is behaving and treating the people around them. It's not enough to assume that just because someone doesn't have an erection that they can't be sexually agressive or manipulative.
That's a very good distinction, and I wish I had thought of that when writing this. Physical arousal is a spectrum, and there's a big difference between slight arousal and a full-blown erection. The former is a lot more involuntary, and can come from simply seeing something you find sexually arousing, but it generally won't proceed to the latter without some amount of conscious sexual thoughts.
It is because empathy is a rare commodity these days.
"I'm going to do what I want to do and to hell with you if you don't like it." There is also the corollary trend of being outraged at every little thing that annoys or you disagree with. Or even performative anger as a political tool.
Yes, that behaviour is definitely not on, and I agree, I see a lot of people on twitter saying normalize erections, without any nuance, and basically being exhibitionists. A nuanced approach is harder to police than a black and white one, and as you say, you have to look at if there's an ongoing behaviour pattern instead of once-off arousal to know if it's accidental or deliberate.
Here we almost get into the realm of thought crime. Unless the person is fluffing themself, wagging it in someone's face or deliberately posing in high visibility spots, you cannot know if it is deliberate or not. It is easier to require that all erections be concealed than it is convince the members that, "He doesn't really mean it."
Businesses must create rules that maximize membership. There is also the matter of the personal morality of the owner.. The owner will presumably set the rules so as to attract the clientele they are after. Allowing erections would attract one clientele but drive away a different clientele. I know many women who would never go back to a club where they saw an erection and neither would people with families. That's lost revenue. It also skews the gender balance. Eventually you'd have a gay resort and/or a swinger resort.
For free range naturism at beaches or hot springs or just on the trail, there are two considerations. Encountering a strange naked man with an erection will be viewed as aggressively sexual and a rape threat by most women, including nudists. It also turns what might be legal behavior into definitely illegal behavior. It will be seen by court as lewd conduct which is illegal even where nudity might be legal.
My suggestion is to keep it suppressed if there any chance of an encounter.
I think of it as empathy. Empathy is a social lubricant that keeps us from brutalizing each other. It seems in very short supply today.
It is kind of like playing loud classical music. I may love the music. It may be beautiful music. There is nothing inherently wrong with playing loud music. But my neighbor may not enjoy it, so why subject them to my music unless I already know they don't mind it? Otherwise, play it quieter or wear headphones.
Would I want them blasting death metal at me? No. And that's why I think of it as empathy. Try to put yourself in the other guys shoes.
My favorite coverup is a hat. For me, a hat is essential for hiking. It is a coverup that says, I'm naked but I'm not doing it for you to see my genitals. I'm not some pervy forest flasher. On the very few times I've used it, if a conversation ensued, I discovered I no longer needed it.
Pulling on a pair of shorts is awkward and implies you don't want them to know you are naked. That is fear based and not respect based.
OTOH, I've had people go by quickly with their eyes fixed straight ahead or averted. For them it was probably a good thing.
State of California does not have an anti-nudity law. It has an anti-lewdity law. There's even a famous letter from the Sheriff stating that nudity is not illegal in the national forest. The state of CA only has an ordinance against nudity in state parks - which gets ignored at Black's Beach. The county of LA only has an ordinance against it in county parks. The city of LA is similar. That's why we can have the WNBR. (Those ordinances were directed at hippies in the 60s.)
San Diego County, OTOH has a local ordinance. Men have to wear a thong (and women must at least add pasties) for their WNBR.
If you were to simply wander nude down a random LA street and someone complained, the police might show up if they weren't busy. Most likely they'll tell you to get dressed and don't do it again. A ticket for disorderly conduct, causing a traffic hazard, or disturbing the peace is also a possibility. (Don't get huffy or uppity or they'll find more serious charges or look for an excuse for an arrest.) And then the ticket gets thrown out but you've had the hassle of fighting it.
There's definitely a time and place where it's appropriate to cover it up, but I hope over time more understanding will emerge around this topic, so that it won't be seen in such a threatening way. But erections are only one small part of what I'm talking about. I'm talking more broadly about shame surrounding sexual feelings in naturism, whether or not an erection happens to be present. That's the bigger issue I think we need to deal with. If people need to cover an erection to make others feel comfortable, that's not a big problem, but if they're made to feel ashamed for the feelings that created that arousal in the first place, then they're unlikely to stick around long enough to get past that stage.
"Erection control" is something one learns quickly. It is one of those "automatic" functions that's really voluntary, at least once you are past the hormonal craziness of growing up. If you don't want to learn it, then you won't.
When I was taking nude acting lessons we had some breathtakingly beautiful people in the class. (Right next to Hollywood and near Disney. Duh!) Yeah, I felt some lust. I never felt bad about feeling the lust. Lust is preprogrammed into every human being. I'd probably feel as much lust if it were a textile class.
My theory is that if nudity is really accepted and normal, one ought to be able to do anything naked that one can do while wearing clothes. Anything else is saying that nudity makes some things inherently and inevitably sexual, so those aspects of normal behavior cannot be allowed in the nude.
Thank you for raising this. It is naive to assume that every person arrives at a place of social nudity with the same intents, both male and female. I appreciate you noticing and naming the difference.
Thanks for bringing your voice to Planet Nude, Jeff! I remember you had made a Venn diagram at one point, about nudity, sex, and shame - I think it’s a wonderful illustration that goes along with the point you’ve expressed so well here.
Really appreciate your perspective here. It’s something I think about a lot, too, and that causes me stress because of the way many nudists present the non-sexual nudity as a morality test, complete with its own shame and dogma. Thanks for balancing the conversation and advocating for something kinder and more human.
"So it’s best to just tell them that it’s fine and normal to find it sexual at first, as long as they behave respectfully. That way, they’ll feel safe to have the experiences that will help them to learn to separate sex and nudity."
This is a paradigm shift. Arousal can be an involuntary response. It happens very often to me when I am completely alone, in nature or at home. When it occurs, it is my conscious mind/will in the moment that will determine my behavior that follows.
This realization really only pertains to men because we are the human beings that display the result of any arousal, voluntary or involuntary. I have read a lot about, "what if I get aroused?" and each time the response is, "cover yourself until you are no longer aroused...or, roll over on your blanket...or, go take a swim..."or, some such thing.
This response is not inviting at all, in fact it exacerbates the trepidation held by aspirants wishing to experience social nudity. I know, at my beginning, I didn't want to chance getting aroused in the situation and being shamed for something that is as natural as being undressed. And, isn't getting to our most natural state of being the point?
I know this for myself, I am a healthy adult male and all of my body works as it should, thank you God!
Therefore, I still have to manage my arousal states when they occur.
This line of thinking is very helpful...and when I have the chance, in the future, to talk about social nudity with other non-experienced people interested in the lifestyle/activity, I will promote this line of thought.
Let's kill the Buzz Kill response and think differently.
Agreed. Male arousal is natural and a sign of virility and healthy. I think male sexuality is too often shamed and seen as deviant. Whereas female sexuality is protected and encouraged. This is a double standard.
I do hear a LOT more attacks on male sexuality than on female sexuality. (That may just be the people I hang out with.) You can predict a person's entire political ideology based on what kinds of sexuality they disrespect - or if they don't attack sexuality at all.
It doesn't matter what kind of sexuality one prefers. There is always someone else who will hate you for it.
For every pleasure a man has, it is to be considered a 'guilt.' But every pleasure a woman has, it is to be considered The Way. An avalanche of shame is unleashed upon a man who is enjoying himself. They want us to feel guilty for enjoying life. They want women to be the gatekeepers of sex and sexual enjoyment.
Women are the gatekeepers of intimate heterosexual activity. It has to be that way. Consent is crucial above all else. The problem is that there is disapproval of the very idea of heterosexuality. Some feminists have proclaimed all heterosexual activity to be a kind of rape. To them a penis is a weapon. A visible penis is a gun taken out of its holster. An erect penis is brandishing a loaded and cocked gun with a finger on the trigger.
It doesn't represent a majority of women but does represent a significant portion of the female "intelligentsia."
If you are a heterosexual male, there are schools of feminism that will automatically hate you. Not as dominant as one might think but they get all the press. Hate gets more clicks and makes for a better lead.
If you are anything other than trad heterosexual, everyone on the cultural right will hate you.
Accept that no matter what you do someone will hate you, and just move on. Don't let it bug you. Find a niche where you fit in and let the rest of the world f*** itself.
Good article. I think a major problem - one with current generations - is that there is no opportunity for non-naturist to experience non-sexual nudity, through out life, without going to a naturist/nudist venue or event. Most millennials and all of Gen-Zers never got to experience showers after PE class and most member gyms now have private showers. When Gen-X and Boomers grew up, they had such opportunities. Hell, Boomer boys and men were required to swim nude both at the Y and at some schools.
Although I am 37 I am lucky enough to grow up at the tail end of an era of acceptable "non-sexual nudity". While I did not shower during P.E. (I admit, I sometimes skipped P.E in high school, lol) from 11 to 14 I did attend YMCA sleepaway camp that had an open communal shower room. And we were expected to shower naked, before bed. I do remember some of the new kids were nervous at first, but after the first two nights, they were fine with it. And although we were all into puberty at that time, no one thought about the nudity (from what I remember) in a sexual way. While showering, we would even talk about movies, music, that day's activities, whatever nonchalantly. Later when I was 14, we took a trip to New Hampshire to go hiking and rock climbing along the Appalachian Trail. We were camping out a little off the trail next to the river, and the counselors let us skinny dip. I think some of us brought our swimsuits with us, but thought nothing of wearing them since we were all guys, and have seen each other all naked anyway.
It is experiences like these that I think help me and older generations separate the non-sexual nudity and sexual nudity, and due to panic "stranger danger" younger generations, at least in the US, don't have.
I think this is a big part of why younger generations are less comfortable with being naked in front of others. I didn't have that when I was growing up. It wasn't until I was in my mid 20s and I started swimming at a local beach that had communal showers that I experienced casual nudity around others. That was quite a big step for me in becoming comfortable with nudity and eventually becoming a nudist.
I'm glad you made it, and sorry that growing up you didn't had an opportunity to do it earlier. It did get me thinking, that maybe that is why so many young (and older) people who do partake in naturism, or at least quite a bit of people I meet at the two camp grounds I frequent, "Solair" and "Dyerwoods" tend to be military or former military. I never serve, but I think it is no secret that in the military their are showers are communal, same as with the boy scouts; and I have met a bunch of former scouts too, and families who sons are current scouts. Firefighters too, as well as nurses, EMTs, doctors, etc. Those who are in situations were seeing the nude human body in a non-sexual situation is common place.
And bouncing back to those in military, I think it is more so for those who serve overseas, in a culture that has different attitudes to nudity than in the US. I am friends with someone (he is not naturist, or considers himself one) who is former military and he was station with his family for two years in Germany. There he went to the FKK beaches and later mix gender saunas with his family, and that give him and his wife (his kids were young at the time) a new perspective on nudity. And although as I said he is not a naturist he is open to having a family vacation at a place like Cypress Cove.
I agree. Even today at a few fitness centers I have used while traveling there were signs to cover up in the locker room while changing and to not walk around naked. The world has gone crazy. I think some of it stems from the fear and hysteria about sex abuse, homosexuality, and the growth of religious zealotry. It’s insane. Growing up as a boomer I had little privacy at school, camp or home. There were times I didn’t like it but all in all it was good for me.
It's not the "world". It's only the English-speaking nations I find. I was just in Austria, it is the opposite. But in the US, UK, and Australia (a country that I hear is the worst) it is all hysteria.
I do see younger men becoming more self-conscious and more susceptible to body shame. On the other hand, I see more women going to spa-type places that encompass nudity. I'm not sure what to draw from either of these except that things will keep changing.
I think tiktok. I'm not on the platform, but from the bits I do see, there seems to be a bunch of young men with perms, makeup, nail polish, and designer clothes.
And I hope you are right. I hope it will bounce back to where both genders see body shame as stupid, and the Puritans will get out of the way and stop promoting the message that all nudity is sexual. I see that message coming from both the left and the right.
Thanks for a great post with wonderful insights. My very first time nude at a naturist club as soon as I stripped off my clothes and stowed them in my car I felt nervous and self-conscious. As I walked to the pool area I started to get an erection. I was mortified. I turned around and went back to my car and got in. Everyone said it won’t happen. But it did. I started my car and was getting ready to leave when someone knocked on the window of my car. I looked puzzled. I opened the window. A much older gentlemen said “I was watching you from my cabin. Is this your first time?” Well, thank God for that man (Walter). He encouraged me to give it a go. He said just cover up with the towel and get to a lounger and lie face down until it goes away. I did that and it did go away and as they say the rest is history. Twelve years ago and it has only happened one other time when the wind blowing on me after swimming caused a reaction. I handled it the same way--flipped over and it went away. Saying it won’t happen does not make a newbie calm down because they don’t really believe it.
No, they won't believe it, and sometimes it does happen, as happened to you. Saying it won't happen is just sweeping it under the rug and hoping, because people feel uncomfortable talking about it. But we do need to talk about it, because it's a fact of human biology. We need to be understanding and have policies in place so that people won't feel uncomfortable, and won't be left not knowing what to do if it does happen.
It only means that you are a healthy man. Male sexuality is stigmatized. While female sexuality is protected and encouraged. There is a double standard.
Thanks for the informative article. Your points are very well made. I recently invited a new friend to a bi and gay men's nude cookout and pool party when the weather turns warm again and his first concern was that he might get aroused. After we discussed the issue he felt more comofortable giving it a try. I didn't try to pretend it would not happen but assured him as long as his behavior was appropriate there would be no issues with others in the group. It was good to read your points and the comments of others on approaches to handling this issue in nudity.
I suppose some people don't understand context and some people intentionally ignore context. The former I understand because context was often difficult for me when I was young. I was not a socially competent kid. The latter are people who don't want it to be so, they already have an absolute yes/no belief system and compromise is not possible.
I was a stripper as a young adult but I was also a nudist and an art model. I understood the difference between erotic nudity and ordinary nudity quite well. Accepting that difference rather than denying it enhances one's freedom to be both in different times and different places..
The funny thing is that the only time I have ever had an unwanted erection was when I was an 18 year old freshman with no experience in coed nudity. I'd taken a work study package and the job I had chosen was art model. That first day was terminally embarrassing but it never happened again. Good thing, or the professor would have fired me.
Nicely explained article & the thoughts. Ultimately it's all about one's mind. It's not important as to whether someone is clothed or nude to occupy the mind about sex. The sexual thoughts are always in the mind irrespective of clothing status. It just depends on how someone can manage these thoughts.
Thank you for acknowledging this. Yes. Culturally, this has been promoted as well as weaponized within wars, both "official" wars but also within warlike conditions. But I also wonder about creating associations with erections that are purely sexual. There's a conflict between saying that an erection can come from multiple reasons and saying that is proof of virility. The line of thinking equating it to virility is deeply embedded. For example, the word "impotent" means powerless, yet is also synonymous with erectile dysfunction.
Women have fought to have breasts desexualized for many years because of the imposition it creates. It doesn't mean breasts can't be sexual, but if someone were to say that because nipples were erect there is a sexual connection, it would be an absurd connection.
When it comes to sexually agressive behaviour, the focus on erections can become something of a red herring. We need to look at how someone is behaving and treating the people around them. It's not enough to assume that just because someone doesn't have an erection that they can't be sexually agressive or manipulative.
That's a very good distinction, and I wish I had thought of that when writing this. Physical arousal is a spectrum, and there's a big difference between slight arousal and a full-blown erection. The former is a lot more involuntary, and can come from simply seeing something you find sexually arousing, but it generally won't proceed to the latter without some amount of conscious sexual thoughts.
Really good points on all things. Thank you for your voice.
It is because empathy is a rare commodity these days.
"I'm going to do what I want to do and to hell with you if you don't like it." There is also the corollary trend of being outraged at every little thing that annoys or you disagree with. Or even performative anger as a political tool.
Yes, that behaviour is definitely not on, and I agree, I see a lot of people on twitter saying normalize erections, without any nuance, and basically being exhibitionists. A nuanced approach is harder to police than a black and white one, and as you say, you have to look at if there's an ongoing behaviour pattern instead of once-off arousal to know if it's accidental or deliberate.
Here we almost get into the realm of thought crime. Unless the person is fluffing themself, wagging it in someone's face or deliberately posing in high visibility spots, you cannot know if it is deliberate or not. It is easier to require that all erections be concealed than it is convince the members that, "He doesn't really mean it."
Businesses must create rules that maximize membership. There is also the matter of the personal morality of the owner.. The owner will presumably set the rules so as to attract the clientele they are after. Allowing erections would attract one clientele but drive away a different clientele. I know many women who would never go back to a club where they saw an erection and neither would people with families. That's lost revenue. It also skews the gender balance. Eventually you'd have a gay resort and/or a swinger resort.
For free range naturism at beaches or hot springs or just on the trail, there are two considerations. Encountering a strange naked man with an erection will be viewed as aggressively sexual and a rape threat by most women, including nudists. It also turns what might be legal behavior into definitely illegal behavior. It will be seen by court as lewd conduct which is illegal even where nudity might be legal.
My suggestion is to keep it suppressed if there any chance of an encounter.
I think of it as empathy. Empathy is a social lubricant that keeps us from brutalizing each other. It seems in very short supply today.
It is kind of like playing loud classical music. I may love the music. It may be beautiful music. There is nothing inherently wrong with playing loud music. But my neighbor may not enjoy it, so why subject them to my music unless I already know they don't mind it? Otherwise, play it quieter or wear headphones.
Would I want them blasting death metal at me? No. And that's why I think of it as empathy. Try to put yourself in the other guys shoes.
My favorite coverup is a hat. For me, a hat is essential for hiking. It is a coverup that says, I'm naked but I'm not doing it for you to see my genitals. I'm not some pervy forest flasher. On the very few times I've used it, if a conversation ensued, I discovered I no longer needed it.
Pulling on a pair of shorts is awkward and implies you don't want them to know you are naked. That is fear based and not respect based.
OTOH, I've had people go by quickly with their eyes fixed straight ahead or averted. For them it was probably a good thing.
State of California does not have an anti-nudity law. It has an anti-lewdity law. There's even a famous letter from the Sheriff stating that nudity is not illegal in the national forest. The state of CA only has an ordinance against nudity in state parks - which gets ignored at Black's Beach. The county of LA only has an ordinance against it in county parks. The city of LA is similar. That's why we can have the WNBR. (Those ordinances were directed at hippies in the 60s.)
San Diego County, OTOH has a local ordinance. Men have to wear a thong (and women must at least add pasties) for their WNBR.
If you were to simply wander nude down a random LA street and someone complained, the police might show up if they weren't busy. Most likely they'll tell you to get dressed and don't do it again. A ticket for disorderly conduct, causing a traffic hazard, or disturbing the peace is also a possibility. (Don't get huffy or uppity or they'll find more serious charges or look for an excuse for an arrest.) And then the ticket gets thrown out but you've had the hassle of fighting it.
There's definitely a time and place where it's appropriate to cover it up, but I hope over time more understanding will emerge around this topic, so that it won't be seen in such a threatening way. But erections are only one small part of what I'm talking about. I'm talking more broadly about shame surrounding sexual feelings in naturism, whether or not an erection happens to be present. That's the bigger issue I think we need to deal with. If people need to cover an erection to make others feel comfortable, that's not a big problem, but if they're made to feel ashamed for the feelings that created that arousal in the first place, then they're unlikely to stick around long enough to get past that stage.
"Erection control" is something one learns quickly. It is one of those "automatic" functions that's really voluntary, at least once you are past the hormonal craziness of growing up. If you don't want to learn it, then you won't.
When I was taking nude acting lessons we had some breathtakingly beautiful people in the class. (Right next to Hollywood and near Disney. Duh!) Yeah, I felt some lust. I never felt bad about feeling the lust. Lust is preprogrammed into every human being. I'd probably feel as much lust if it were a textile class.
My theory is that if nudity is really accepted and normal, one ought to be able to do anything naked that one can do while wearing clothes. Anything else is saying that nudity makes some things inherently and inevitably sexual, so those aspects of normal behavior cannot be allowed in the nude.
Thank you for raising this. It is naive to assume that every person arrives at a place of social nudity with the same intents, both male and female. I appreciate you noticing and naming the difference.
Well thought through. Thank you for posting this.
Thanks for bringing your voice to Planet Nude, Jeff! I remember you had made a Venn diagram at one point, about nudity, sex, and shame - I think it’s a wonderful illustration that goes along with the point you’ve expressed so well here.
Oh, I should have thought to include that in the article. It was so long ago that I'd forgotten about the Venn diagram.
Happy to add this if you want to send it my way!
Solid post.
Really appreciate your perspective here. It’s something I think about a lot, too, and that causes me stress because of the way many nudists present the non-sexual nudity as a morality test, complete with its own shame and dogma. Thanks for balancing the conversation and advocating for something kinder and more human.
Agreed. They place this morality test on men, insofar as male arousal is perceived as inappropriate. I think it is a sign of virility and healthy.
"So it’s best to just tell them that it’s fine and normal to find it sexual at first, as long as they behave respectfully. That way, they’ll feel safe to have the experiences that will help them to learn to separate sex and nudity."
This is a paradigm shift. Arousal can be an involuntary response. It happens very often to me when I am completely alone, in nature or at home. When it occurs, it is my conscious mind/will in the moment that will determine my behavior that follows.
This realization really only pertains to men because we are the human beings that display the result of any arousal, voluntary or involuntary. I have read a lot about, "what if I get aroused?" and each time the response is, "cover yourself until you are no longer aroused...or, roll over on your blanket...or, go take a swim..."or, some such thing.
This response is not inviting at all, in fact it exacerbates the trepidation held by aspirants wishing to experience social nudity. I know, at my beginning, I didn't want to chance getting aroused in the situation and being shamed for something that is as natural as being undressed. And, isn't getting to our most natural state of being the point?
I know this for myself, I am a healthy adult male and all of my body works as it should, thank you God!
Therefore, I still have to manage my arousal states when they occur.
This line of thinking is very helpful...and when I have the chance, in the future, to talk about social nudity with other non-experienced people interested in the lifestyle/activity, I will promote this line of thought.
Let's kill the Buzz Kill response and think differently.
Thank you, Jeff.
Agreed. Male arousal is natural and a sign of virility and healthy. I think male sexuality is too often shamed and seen as deviant. Whereas female sexuality is protected and encouraged. This is a double standard.
I do hear a LOT more attacks on male sexuality than on female sexuality. (That may just be the people I hang out with.) You can predict a person's entire political ideology based on what kinds of sexuality they disrespect - or if they don't attack sexuality at all.
It doesn't matter what kind of sexuality one prefers. There is always someone else who will hate you for it.
For every pleasure a man has, it is to be considered a 'guilt.' But every pleasure a woman has, it is to be considered The Way. An avalanche of shame is unleashed upon a man who is enjoying himself. They want us to feel guilty for enjoying life. They want women to be the gatekeepers of sex and sexual enjoyment.
Women are the gatekeepers of intimate heterosexual activity. It has to be that way. Consent is crucial above all else. The problem is that there is disapproval of the very idea of heterosexuality. Some feminists have proclaimed all heterosexual activity to be a kind of rape. To them a penis is a weapon. A visible penis is a gun taken out of its holster. An erect penis is brandishing a loaded and cocked gun with a finger on the trigger.
It doesn't represent a majority of women but does represent a significant portion of the female "intelligentsia."
If you are a heterosexual male, there are schools of feminism that will automatically hate you. Not as dominant as one might think but they get all the press. Hate gets more clicks and makes for a better lead.
If you are anything other than trad heterosexual, everyone on the cultural right will hate you.
Accept that no matter what you do someone will hate you, and just move on. Don't let it bug you. Find a niche where you fit in and let the rest of the world f*** itself.
Illegitimi non carborundum!
Good article. I think a major problem - one with current generations - is that there is no opportunity for non-naturist to experience non-sexual nudity, through out life, without going to a naturist/nudist venue or event. Most millennials and all of Gen-Zers never got to experience showers after PE class and most member gyms now have private showers. When Gen-X and Boomers grew up, they had such opportunities. Hell, Boomer boys and men were required to swim nude both at the Y and at some schools.
Although I am 37 I am lucky enough to grow up at the tail end of an era of acceptable "non-sexual nudity". While I did not shower during P.E. (I admit, I sometimes skipped P.E in high school, lol) from 11 to 14 I did attend YMCA sleepaway camp that had an open communal shower room. And we were expected to shower naked, before bed. I do remember some of the new kids were nervous at first, but after the first two nights, they were fine with it. And although we were all into puberty at that time, no one thought about the nudity (from what I remember) in a sexual way. While showering, we would even talk about movies, music, that day's activities, whatever nonchalantly. Later when I was 14, we took a trip to New Hampshire to go hiking and rock climbing along the Appalachian Trail. We were camping out a little off the trail next to the river, and the counselors let us skinny dip. I think some of us brought our swimsuits with us, but thought nothing of wearing them since we were all guys, and have seen each other all naked anyway.
It is experiences like these that I think help me and older generations separate the non-sexual nudity and sexual nudity, and due to panic "stranger danger" younger generations, at least in the US, don't have.
I think this is a big part of why younger generations are less comfortable with being naked in front of others. I didn't have that when I was growing up. It wasn't until I was in my mid 20s and I started swimming at a local beach that had communal showers that I experienced casual nudity around others. That was quite a big step for me in becoming comfortable with nudity and eventually becoming a nudist.
I'm glad you made it, and sorry that growing up you didn't had an opportunity to do it earlier. It did get me thinking, that maybe that is why so many young (and older) people who do partake in naturism, or at least quite a bit of people I meet at the two camp grounds I frequent, "Solair" and "Dyerwoods" tend to be military or former military. I never serve, but I think it is no secret that in the military their are showers are communal, same as with the boy scouts; and I have met a bunch of former scouts too, and families who sons are current scouts. Firefighters too, as well as nurses, EMTs, doctors, etc. Those who are in situations were seeing the nude human body in a non-sexual situation is common place.
And bouncing back to those in military, I think it is more so for those who serve overseas, in a culture that has different attitudes to nudity than in the US. I am friends with someone (he is not naturist, or considers himself one) who is former military and he was station with his family for two years in Germany. There he went to the FKK beaches and later mix gender saunas with his family, and that give him and his wife (his kids were young at the time) a new perspective on nudity. And although as I said he is not a naturist he is open to having a family vacation at a place like Cypress Cove.
I agree. Even today at a few fitness centers I have used while traveling there were signs to cover up in the locker room while changing and to not walk around naked. The world has gone crazy. I think some of it stems from the fear and hysteria about sex abuse, homosexuality, and the growth of religious zealotry. It’s insane. Growing up as a boomer I had little privacy at school, camp or home. There were times I didn’t like it but all in all it was good for me.
It's not the "world". It's only the English-speaking nations I find. I was just in Austria, it is the opposite. But in the US, UK, and Australia (a country that I hear is the worst) it is all hysteria.
I do see younger men becoming more self-conscious and more susceptible to body shame. On the other hand, I see more women going to spa-type places that encompass nudity. I'm not sure what to draw from either of these except that things will keep changing.
I think tiktok. I'm not on the platform, but from the bits I do see, there seems to be a bunch of young men with perms, makeup, nail polish, and designer clothes.
And I hope you are right. I hope it will bounce back to where both genders see body shame as stupid, and the Puritans will get out of the way and stop promoting the message that all nudity is sexual. I see that message coming from both the left and the right.
GREAT POST - with lots of solid points and considerations - very much appreciated!
Thanks for a great post with wonderful insights. My very first time nude at a naturist club as soon as I stripped off my clothes and stowed them in my car I felt nervous and self-conscious. As I walked to the pool area I started to get an erection. I was mortified. I turned around and went back to my car and got in. Everyone said it won’t happen. But it did. I started my car and was getting ready to leave when someone knocked on the window of my car. I looked puzzled. I opened the window. A much older gentlemen said “I was watching you from my cabin. Is this your first time?” Well, thank God for that man (Walter). He encouraged me to give it a go. He said just cover up with the towel and get to a lounger and lie face down until it goes away. I did that and it did go away and as they say the rest is history. Twelve years ago and it has only happened one other time when the wind blowing on me after swimming caused a reaction. I handled it the same way--flipped over and it went away. Saying it won’t happen does not make a newbie calm down because they don’t really believe it.
No, they won't believe it, and sometimes it does happen, as happened to you. Saying it won't happen is just sweeping it under the rug and hoping, because people feel uncomfortable talking about it. But we do need to talk about it, because it's a fact of human biology. We need to be understanding and have policies in place so that people won't feel uncomfortable, and won't be left not knowing what to do if it does happen.
It only means that you are a healthy man. Male sexuality is stigmatized. While female sexuality is protected and encouraged. There is a double standard.
Excellent post, Jeff. Thanks.
Thanks for the informative article. Your points are very well made. I recently invited a new friend to a bi and gay men's nude cookout and pool party when the weather turns warm again and his first concern was that he might get aroused. After we discussed the issue he felt more comofortable giving it a try. I didn't try to pretend it would not happen but assured him as long as his behavior was appropriate there would be no issues with others in the group. It was good to read your points and the comments of others on approaches to handling this issue in nudity.
I'd like to quote you in an article I am writing for the Bulletin.
Yes, I'd be more than happy for you to quote me
Context is everything.
I suppose some people don't understand context and some people intentionally ignore context. The former I understand because context was often difficult for me when I was young. I was not a socially competent kid. The latter are people who don't want it to be so, they already have an absolute yes/no belief system and compromise is not possible.
I was a stripper as a young adult but I was also a nudist and an art model. I understood the difference between erotic nudity and ordinary nudity quite well. Accepting that difference rather than denying it enhances one's freedom to be both in different times and different places..
The funny thing is that the only time I have ever had an unwanted erection was when I was an 18 year old freshman with no experience in coed nudity. I'd taken a work study package and the job I had chosen was art model. That first day was terminally embarrassing but it never happened again. Good thing, or the professor would have fired me.
Nicely explained article & the thoughts. Ultimately it's all about one's mind. It's not important as to whether someone is clothed or nude to occupy the mind about sex. The sexual thoughts are always in the mind irrespective of clothing status. It just depends on how someone can manage these thoughts.