A cosmic odyssey on Planet Nude

Everything you need to know about life on Planet Nude

Editor’s Note: Happy birthday to us! Planet Nude turns one month old today. Incidentally, we hit the 500 subscriber milestone just this morning. Not a bad start! Thank you and welcome to all who have joined. To celebrate, here’s a little fun to usher in the weekend. Stay nude!

Welcome to the faraway realm of Planet Nude, a wild and woolly land where the very air you breathe grants you immediate citizenship. As you step out of your vessel, you're greeted by a lush, verdant landscape teeming with the strange and wondrous flora of your new home. The sky is a deep shade of purple, the pink sun ignites the clouds with brilliant violet shadows and casts a warm, radiant tan over the globe.

As you exit the docking pad and enter into the vibrant metropolitan square which confronts the space port’s accessibly designed entryway, you'll quickly notice that the diverse people of Planet Nude have no use for clothes. Every one of them—representing all shapes and shades, some with assistive devices, some with jewelry or body art—easily navigates the architecturally rich environment before you in the nude.

It takes surprisingly little time for you to become accustomed to this new reality. The temperate climate and immediate kindliness you feel from the people you encounter diffuses any discomfort, and you soon find yourself disrobing with such cognitive ease that you don’t even remember to note where you lay your space suit. You quickly blend in amongst the diverse group of nude humanoids ambling around.

Suddenly nude, you feel freer than you’ve ever felt before. The ease with which you can move about is liberating. The weather is warm, the breeze is comforting, and the sunlight is enlivening. You feel a primal rush of joy.

What is this far out place?

Navigating society on Planet Nude, you soon come to learn that the people here have a deep spiritual practice which views nudity as a way to connect with the natural world and with each other. They see nudity as a sacrament, a rite of passage, a sacred ritual, a badge of honor, a symbol of freedom, a celebration of life. It's a way of embracing the raw beauty of the human form, the cosmic connection, the divine essence, the eternal truth. It's a way of rejecting the shackles of textile tyranny, the puritanical oppression, the societal conformity, the moral decay. Nudity is not just a physical act, but a spiritual one, a transcendental experience, a cosmic dance, a holy communion. It's a "fuck you" to the textile overlords, a middle finger to the status quo, a rebellion against dominance, a declaration of independence, a call to arms, a battle cry for freedom. You learn that Planet Nude was not always nude. It came to be this way through revolution.

As you explore, you'll discover that the people of Planet Nude are richly diverse. The roughly-Earth-sized globe is featured with a wide range of regions, cultures, ecologies, and climates that all contain a nuanced blend of cultural differences. However, there is no division. Each region has evolved to live sustainably, in harmony with Nude’s natural ecology. Their needs are met, and they do not seek growth beyond the comfort achievable within the limits of their local natural resources. This simple humanity and goodwill makes up the basis of their global system. They trade, they give, they support one another in good faith, and that’s it. There is no money. There is no bartering or betting or gaming or competing. There is only love and contentment. Their societies accommodate all abilities. They lift their lowest up, and poverty and war have ceased to be.

Who are these naked humanoids?

Each culture on Planet Nude has evolved in harmony with their surroundings, creating many unique and beautiful ways of life.

The tropical zones are made up of lush rainforests and sparkling beaches and are home to an array of cultures, each with their own unique take on nudity. The people there live in serenity with their natural surroundings, using the resources around them to live sustainably.

The deserts are a harsh and unforgiving place, yet the people who call it home have adapted in remarkable ways. They are fiercely independent and self-reliant, often using nudity as a means of expressing their freedom and individuality. Body modification is a common practice, with tattoos and piercings adorning their bodies like a badge of honor.

The mountains are a curious case. Necessity being the ancestor of invention, the harsh climate there has forced the people of Planet Nude’s mountainous climates to come up with creative ways to stay warm outdoors: they wear clothing. Still, nudity is a deeply communal, ritualistic, and spiritual practice, from saunas to festivals where they strip down and dance in the snow.

Even in the toughest of conditions, the spirit of nudity thrives on Planet Nude.

You’re welcome to stay as long as you choose

As you spend more time on Planet Nude, you begin to understand that as with any utopia, this world has a dark side. Predisposed to seek contentment and comfort, the unambitious people of Planet Nude are dreadfully prone to complacency, often taking their own way of life for granted. Many have forgotten the struggles of their ancestors, the battles that earned them their privilege to go nude, and the hard work that went into building this society. They have grown smug, and are largely unaware of the colossal threat that is posed against their planet at this very moment, a threat they are most certainly unprepared to defend against.

Meanwhile, the nearby planet Modestos, ruled by the tyrannical government of the Textile Council, represented by a maniacal bounty hunter known as The Weaver, seeks to impose their puritanical views on the people of other planets, including Planet Nude.

Your civic duty

As a citizen of Planet Nude, you are charged, alongside your neighbors and compatriots, with standing up against the subjugation of our way of life by the Textile Council's tyranny, and to defend freedom, autonomy, and a nude way of life for your allies on planets less fortunate. You must not be tamed by the Textile Council's sartorial shackles, nor cowed by their puritanical propaganda. You must continue to defend the right to be free, to be naked, to be one with the natural world and with each other.

So welcome to Planet Nude, fellow citizen. Embrace your nudity, and join the fight for cosmic harmony. This newsletter will be your official communique, assembled from a mix of nude freedom fighters banding together in rebellion against the forces of textile tyranny. Together, we must vanquish the clothed overlords of Modestos and bring nude freedom to the galaxy. The battle may be formidable, but the rewards are eternal. This is a sacred fight, a holy war, a cosmic dance. And we, the naked pacifists of Planet Nude, will lead the charge. 🪐

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